Let’s Build a Better Toilet

Somebody is finally working on an important issue. My hat–and pants—off to you Gates Foundation.

“The foundation announced $41.5 million worth of grants on Tuesday aimed at getting someone to reengineer the flushing porcelain pot, which has been in use since the 1700s.

‘No innovation in the past 200 years has done more to save lives and improve health than the sanitation revolution triggered by invention of the toilet,’ Sylvia Mathews Burwell, president of the foundation’s global development program, said in a statement. ‘But it did not go far enough. It only reached one-third of the world. What we need are new approaches. New ideas. In short, we need to reinvent the toilet.'”

Man, I hope they have good toilets in Istanbul. Because I plan to do some damage on this and this, and it all really looks like it could hurt me. And my friend Linda sent me this article from the Washington Post and I definitely plan to eat with these dudes. I’m taking my stretchy pants to Istanbul, fo sho.

"come drink pickle juice with us. We have sharp knives and aprons over our ample bellies."

But more importantly, my toilet concerns arise from our most recent trip to Italy and Zurich earlier this year.  For those who don’t know, we got food poisoning for about 11 days. From buying salami (a supposedly-CURED meat. Maybe curing methods are different in Italy?) from a very respectable-looking outdoor market. I have never been so sick in all of my life. Or humbled. You really get to know the person you love when you’re both suffering through the same illness. It definitely makes your relationship—and your abs–stronger.

You feeling me Galliano-supporter, Kate Moss? Yeah, you look like I felt.

The worst part, by far, of the Italian Food Poisoning Experience (yes, that is now capitalized) was all the great food we missed out on and couldn’t eat. And, the food we ate but ….well, let’s leave it at that.

"If I throw up the 3-Michelin star, 12 course luncheon, we don't have to pay the bill, right?"

We got an answer to that question: yes, yes you do still have to pay the bill. But everyone will be so glad to have finally gotten you out of their nice restaurant that they will load you up with foreign books and publications featuring writeups of their very fine restaurant. Buh-bye, don’t come back again, lady.

Don’t forget: Yertle the Turtle is looking for your questions for an upcoming post. Want to know what kind of turtle he is? Wondering what he eats? Did you know he hibernates? Want to know where he pees and poops (maybe we can get the Gates Foundation working on that one)? Submit your questions in the comments, or on Facebook or Twitter! Or via email at thepoelog@gmail.com

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