Kate Plus 8 Minus TLC: 15 Other Career Options

Boo hoo. Krazee mom Kate Gosselin got herself canceled. After 150 episodes, TLC has finally pulled the plug on the child-exploitation show. I’ve never seen an episode, I’m pleased to say, but that hasn’t kept the Gosselin off my radar. She’s invaded my US Weekly and E! News. So of course, I feel entirely comfortable giving Bad Hair Kate some career advice. Here are 15 career options for our newly unemployed uber-mom.

1) Open a day care facility and employ all your former nannies you’ve scared off over the years.

2) Get on VH1s Famous Food.

3) Become a national spokesperson for hand sanitizer (If Kris Jenner can do it for Poise pads, Kate can do it for hand sanitizer).

There’s not enough sanitizer in the world to cleanse the Jon out of your life.

4) Open a tanning/nail salon.

5) Take acting classes.

6) Become a  hairstylist. Specializing in the Kate spike.

7) Go to work on Lifetime’s Dance Moms teaching that horrifying dance to Lady Gaga’s “Paparazzi” that she did on DWTS.

I don’t need acting classes. Look at me acting like a paparazzi-chased zombie celebrity.

08) Become a singer, ala every Real Housewife in the franchise.

9) Become the next Bachelorette and/or appear on the next Bachelor.

10) Take over Divorce Court (is that show still on? Apparently so.)

11) Rent out that silver fox bodyguard.

Don’t touch my man or I will spike you with my porcupine hair.

12) Two words: Marriage counselor.

What is it about my body language that makes you think this isn’t working?

13) Join Steven Seagal’s Law Man.

Katie, let me show you the way of the Seagal.

14) Start her own Twitter and Facebook campaign to get her show back.

15) Team up with Octomom and take over the world.

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