Woops. I Forgot to Title This. Let’s Call it “Fall Complaints”

Welcome to Daylight Saving Time, also known as Poe Hell, aka: Five-Month Hibernation Period.

Even though I left work at my normal time, I felt like I got home soooo late tonight. I rushed home and then didn’t want to go back out. And that will be the pattern for the next five months. I’ll skip happy hours. I’ll avoid running errands. I won’t even be tempted by shop windows.  I’ll come directly home from work and change into comfy house clothes and eat and sleep my way through the winter. Preferably on fluffy clouds of macaroni and cheese.

I know it’s incredibly original to say, but I DETEST DST. And fall. And winter.

I want to seriously punch people who say, “But we gained an hour!” No. No we didn’t. We took an hour of sunlight from the end of the day and shifted it to the beginning. That’s it. Still the same number of hours.

You see, thePoeLog is a cold-blooded creature who needs to bask in the sun to warm up and increase her
metabolism, much like our little tortoise pal, Yertle. Here are just a few reasons I hate this time of year:

1. I do not get the concept of layering. I try. I really do. And as a consequence, I almost continuously find myself in a situation where my torso is excrutiatingly warm, and my hands and exposed face are frozen. This especially happens on the walk to and from the metro. I can feel sweat running down my back and trapping itself in the layers of lightweight wool and cotton I’m wearing, while my hands are so cold they can barely hold on to my purse handle and my nose is running and pooling on my upper lip, requiring a mad dig (with frozen fingers) into said purse for a wad of Kleenex. I loathe layering.
2. Speaking of which, can we just talk about tights for a minute? I know I need them, to keep my legs warm. And, I do have quite the collection of knee high boots (seriously, I have, at least 10 pairs of knee high boots). But tights get twisted and are very uncomfortable. They require hopping about on one foot in the morning and jamming ones foot into a wafting piece of fabric floating freely in the air. They leave marks and they’re a pain to get in and out of, making every trip to the bathroom a sweaty wrestling match (again, because I’m wearing layers, and any physical activity causes profuse layer-induced sweating).
3. Since there are now all these layers, and sweat, at play, there is, of course, a serious uptick in the amount of laundry required on a daily basis. And we all know how I feel about laundry.
4. Coats. Holy Wool Overload. I moved to Washington DC with one winter coat. I have now amassed a ridiculous number of coats. They all are made of different materials, have different weights, and serve different purposes. There are fall coats for every day, fall coats for going out, rain coats that are ok with pants, rain coats that are ok with skirts and dresses, rain coats that are too casual for work and therefore are for weekends, leather jackets, winter coats for when it’s snowing, winter coats for when it’s not snowing, vests for when I only need my torso to be warm, but apparently, not my arms. We won’t even begin to address the various footwear required to make it through fall and winter.
5. But speaking of footwear: Now that it gets dark earlier, I have to change my walking route home from the metro. My normal, preferred walking route is through a nice neighborhood, with very little traffic or need to stop at intersections and smooth, continuous cement sidewalks. But this route isn’t very well lit. So now that it gets dark at 5 pm, I instead have to walk down King Street, which is very well lit indeed, but the sidewalks of King Street are made of brick. Do you have any idea what brick sidewalks do to high heels? Even lovely knee high boots? It eats them. That quaint brick sidewalk running through historic Old Town is a death trap on many levels, but especially, for heels that slip between the bricks. My cobbler, incidentally, probably loves fall and winter.  Also: King Street? Tourist megahighway. So instead of meandering along in my lovely neighborhood, I have to dodge masses of enchanted tourists looking at all the old timey fun buildings, while dislodging my heel from shifting bricks every few feet. Somebody ought to make a video game out of this scenario. Something like, “Urban Obstacle Courses,” or something.

   

The one good thing about this time of year, however, is Fall Fun Day. I’ve mentioned Fall Fun Day before. It’s my favorite day after Super Spring Spectacular, which is celebrated in the same manner. It’s sorta like Treat Yo Self Day.

Fall Fun Day celebrates and recreates one of the first dates that my life partner/spousal equivalent XFE and I ever went on. It involves driving out into the lovely twisty country roads in the wilds of Northern Virginia. Which, all cynicism aside, really is beautiful this time of the year. From the comfort of one’s car.

Anyway, we take in all the beautiful changing foliage, stop at a few wineries, do some serious people watching/judging, and chit chat about the humongous houses sitting on acres of property out in the middle of Virginia horse country.

Mostly, we speculate about ways to do away with Daylight Saving Time.  Or, at least I do. XFE loves fall and winter. He’s so weird.

Does anyone else hate this time of year? Or are you all hypnotized by the beauty of the colorful leaves (which, by the way, signal death and decay. Just so you know)? Any survival strategies that don’t involve eating and sleeping?