Doing It Like a Dude Down Under

Hello kitty cats! I am back from my travels. But don’t worry, I have a backlog of posts to write about the trip, including some hotel crashing posts ranging from the uber-luxurious (St. Regis Bangkok) to the way-back-in-time machine that is the Sheraton Mirage in Port Douglas.

But first, did I ever tell you about the time I flew with an internationally recognized pop sensation, fan of heavy bangs, and judge on the new UK version of “the Voice”? No? Well, buckle up, buttercup.

Jessie J

We flew from Cairns to Melbourne on Quantas and connected to our flight to Adelaide on business class. Immediately after getting on the plane and stowing our stuff, I went to the bathroom. When I came out, business class was suddenly full. I squeezed into my seat and my co-celebrity-hunter-for-life, XFE, nudged me and mouthed “I think Jessie J is sitting in front of us.”

I mouthed “bullshit” and started craning my neck every-which-way to see if he was right, but all I could see was long black hair with hot pink tips and while that certainly is rock-n-roll, we all know that Jessie J sports a sharp black bob.

Bob

After some more silent, furious gesturing (“It is her!” “No, it’s not.” “Yes, it is.” “You think everyone with bangs is Jessie J.” “But this really is.”), we settled the issue via XFE’s phone: We searched for news stories on whether she’d been performing in Melbourne recently. She had. And the accompanying photo confirmed it: We were sitting directly behind Jessie J.

You could have knocked me down like a domino. (HA! See what I did there? Domino? Like her current hit song? I’m telling you, my humor kills in Australia. I’m a very big deal down there.)

She did eat during the flight, opting for the antipasta salad, which by all rights, should have been mine. They ran out before they got to me, thanks to her large entourage of about nine people.

The fabulous Miss J and her young, female seatmate perused the current issue of Cosmo and played with her very fancy camera, including recording a video blog as we were landing. (Which, by the way, aren’t we supposed to turn off electronic devices while taking off and landing? Tsk tsk. And while we’re on the subject, how in the heck did she get on a plane wearing a hoodie adorned with very sharp spikes on the cuffs? What? I can’t bring on more than 3 ounces of much-needed hair product, but pop stars can wear weapons capable of flattening car tires?)

jj airport 2

I am positive that when the “Jessie J: Flight from Crazy Fans Sitting Behind Her” v-log finally makes its’ appearance on her website, you will hear me laughing-snorting in the background. I would not hold your breath though — she’s a bit behind on the v-logging: her last update was in January. (Yes, I did spend some time today checking out Jessie J’s official blog. I’m not proud of it. But it is very slick.)

jj airport 3

I guess she doesn’t need the “money, money, money. Cha-ching, cha-ching. Ba-bling, ba-bling.” Again, see what I did? Lyrics from Jessie J’s first hit, Price Tag? Comedy gold, people.

Oh, and for the fashionista’s out there, in addition to the black and pink wig (she confided to me that it was a wig when I stood next to her to get an XFE-requested photo. This was after she spoke to and took photos with about six tween girls. So, for the scoreboard, that’s Jessie J fans under 40 asking for a photo: 6; Jessie J fans over 40 asking for a photo: 1.)

JJ airport

Back to the attires: so in addition to the wig, she was wearing high-waisted faded denim mom-jeans, the aforementioned black hoodie with spikes, red suede shoes (sort of like old Doc Martens), and a black fanny pack decorated with gold metallic dollar signs. And, as the ultimate accessory, she was carrying a hula hoop that she kept flinging through the airport and the baggage carousel on her way to her private car (one of her lackeys waited at the baggage carousel).

jj airport 4

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