When One Poe Lies, It Hurts All Poes

There is someone out there ruining the already-kinda-dingy Poe family name.

Someecard Poe
Sure, sure. We hear ya.

An America’s Got Talent contestant named Timothy Poe is being called out for lying about injuries sustained and heroics displayed in Iraq during his time in the military.

He performed last week as part of the Austin auditions, so not only do I have to deal with him having the same family name, but also, being from my neck of the woods.

I’m smirking because I know I’ve already made you like me. And I tricked you into thinking this picture is a video. But it’s not. It’s just a picture. OR IS IT?

To make matters even worse, he’s now blubbering all over TV apologizing, but claiming he doesn’t know his truth from his fiction. He claims, “It’s the truth I know.”

It’s all pretty annoying. We started watching AGT this season because Howard Stern was added as a judge. We’ve never watched the show before, and tend to shy away from all of those talent shows. But XFE loves Stern — listens to him every day, wants to have a man-date with him– so we started watching.

And I have to say, I’ve actually enjoyed it. Stern has brought a freshness to what I consider a pretty stale format (Gong Show, anyone?) full of mostly weird, talentless people looking to expose their weirdness to the world. While there are plenty of those people on the show, I’ve also been drawn into some of the really unique acts that have come on. And, most odd, I’ve gained a newfound respect for Mariah Carey’s official baby daddy, Nick Cannon. (I cannot believe I just said that out loud).

nick cannon
Nick. Earning my respect.

So we were watching the night that Timothy Poe came out and told his story and sang his song. Well, surprisingly, he didn’t actually claim he wrote the song he performed, which was Garth Brooks’ “If Tomorrow Never Comes.”

While his voice didn’t seem that strong, XFE and I both thought he had an amazing story and we were totally taken in. I mean, he had pictures of himself in uniform! His fiancée was right there, standing in the wings! He saved fellow members of his team, who would surely back up his story told on national television! He’d never sung a note until his speech therapist suggested singing as a way to get a handle on his stutter! You can’t make this stuff up!

Only, you can.

The next day stories started to trickle out calling his story into question. Now it turns out the photo he sent in wasn’t him. And there’s no military records of him taking a grenade. And he actually was a singer in a band (the least egregious of all the lies he told).

crying poe
“I’m so sorry. So sorry I got caught in all my lies. That I told on national TV. Hoping that no one would call me out. I just don’t understand what went wrong.”

Anyway, what a piece of work.

This is quite upsetting. Me and Melissa Poe from Big Rich Texas have spent a lot of time and energy trying to rebuild the tarnished Poe family name after this guy dragged it through the liquor-soaked mud. I mean, Melissa put her modeling career on hold for her daughter. And me, well, I started a blog. Obviously, we’re both making the world a better place for all humanity.

And what about St. Louis rapper/DJ Notorious P.O.E.? He doesn’t deserve this kind of guilt-by-association either. He’s a rapper. He’s got enough negative stereotypes to overcome without worrying that people are whispering “Oh, there’s Poe. You know those Poe folks are nothing but stuttering liars.”

Or Angry Johnny singer, Poe (actually, she doesn’t count since that’s not her real name). But still. I really liked that song back in the 90s and I know she feels as hurt, embarrassed and deceived as the rest of us legitimate Poes.

Listen, it is a known Poe trait to embellish, exaggerate, and otherwise revise history. But this? This goes too far. This creeps into Lil’ Wayne territory on the Lies I’m Not Believing Scale.

On behalf of the other Poes, I’m going to have to ask you to step down, Tim Poe, and change your name.




3 thoughts on “When One Poe Lies, It Hurts All Poes

  1. I LOVED Angry Johnny. I was reminded of that song just the other day.. had forgotten all about it!

    At least your name isn’t some form of Peterson/Petersen. They seem to keep cropping up as killers.

    Your Poe crowd seems to have a rich history of singing and writing. That’s better than killing, even when they choose to lie about it.

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