Two Things that Will Make Your Mouth Pucker: Thai Chicken & Property Brothers

My personal-chef-for-life XFE has abandoned me once again for a work trip. But unlike last time when he left me to starve (ie: feed myself like an adult), this time, he anticipated my inability to feed myself, and made this incredibly yummy Thai grilled chicken with hot-sour-salty-sweet sauce.

Seriously, if I were left to my own devices, I would have eaten this wondrous food every single meal.

It’s from a recipe in the May 2012 issue of Food & Wine, which was their travel issue. We make a lot of chicken on the grill, one of our favorites being beer can chicken, but sometimes, it gets a bit boring.

That’s why this recipe is so great. It’s a new spin on a staple. It uses cilantro, fish sauce, Thai chiles and tamarind concentrate, which, for some inexplicable reason, we happened to have on hand.

And, it’s pretty simple. Especially if you just sit at the kitchen counter, having a glass of wine and flipping through the latest issue of US magazine like I do. Then, it seems like the whole dish just magically puts itself together.

See? It’s just cooking itself.

In my defense, I was exhausted from looking at housing options with XFE all day. We looked at about 4 houses on Friday and another 6 or so on Monday. Let me tell you, there are some ugly houses out there. Selling for a hell of a lot of money.

XFE has, of course, been doing all the work in this endeavor. I come in on the eeewww-not eeewww part. My research has been quite extensive and is composed primarily of watching hours and hours of HGTV.

It’s been pretty frustrating, to be honest. My research, I mean. Primarily because on HGTV they show these total idiots who have ridiculously small budgets looking at incredibly affordable houses. Like, houses that cost less than Real Housewives of Orange County’s Gretchen’s makeup budget. (Gurl wears some spackle).

I can say these $200,000 houses are affordable because we live just outside of Washington DC, which is the capital of house-icide. Oh, you don’t know about house-icide? House-icide is the total bending over you get trying to find an affordable place to live in a market that has barely been knicked by the struggling economy and tanking housing market. Sorry to get graphic on you.

In the DC area, this ‘house’ would go for about $600,000. To be fair, it is on a beach, which is much nicer than a DC neighborhood.

Plus, to be fair, XFE and I are a couple of really picky bitches. We did find one house we liked enough for XFE to put an offer on, so fingers, toes, legs and everything else crossed.

But back to HGTV. One of my absolute new favorite shows is this show “Property Brothers.”

There’s, obviously, two brothers, one of whom is a real estate agent, the other is a contractor. They start the show with some brand-spanking new first-time homebuyers, much like ourselves. The real estate brother asks what they’re looking for in a house. They, of course, peel off this long list of absolute musts, including their budget, which is usually right around $19.95. Then, the two brothers take our hapless home buyers to a house that meets every single requirement the couple listed.

After a tour of the mansion, the real estate brother asks the couple what they think the house is selling for. The couple always names a price right around what their budget is. NAH. Wrong. It’s usually about six times the amount. Womp-womp-womp. That look on the couples’ faces is priceless. I’d actually pay $19.95 just for a video reel of that moment alone. It’s a mixture of “oh shit,” and “so….we’re not getting this place?”

Then the very nice realtor brother explains that they’re going to now lower their expectations a bit and look at some houses that are actually in their price range (ie: disgusting pit holes) and the very nice contractor brother promises to make these disgusting pit holes very nice and even put in some of the finishes and other aspects they liked in the Barbie Dream House. That’s about where I lose interest and change the channel.

I’m telling you, the first 5 minutes are awesome. Especially if you’re eating Thai chicken with hot-sour-salty-sweet sauce.