Dolly Parton is my spiritual guru. I love her. In difficult situations here at Poe Communications and Industrial Services (for all your writing/editing/industrial needs, just Gmail me at thepoelog), I often ask myself: “What would Dolly do?”
Then I give myself a little Dolly pep talk along the lines of pulling myself up by my bootstraps and going harder, and/or putting on some lipstick and rhinestones to make myself feel better. Those are the two WWDD answers I usually come up with.
So, of course, I’m digging this Mentalfloss list of 10 Things You Didn’t Know About Dolly Parton. My favorite? She entered a Dolly Parton Look-a-Like Contest. And lost. You can’t make that stuff up. Priceless.
Here’s some other stuff I’m digging this week:
- You guys know about Bros Being Basic on Instagram, right? Hilarious from the photos to the hashtags.
- I am pretty clumsy and often tell little white lies to smooth stuff over, but the Egyptian Museum has really taken it to the next level. Breaking off King Tut’s beard and then GLUING it back on? Sounds like a classic Poe move.
- A new island has been formed thanks to a volcano eruption in Tonga. I’d like to remind the folks of this new island that I am available to be their ruler.
- I know some DC ladies who could really use this invisible boyfriend app. And probably will. Don’t hate the player, hate the game, y’all.
- Speaking of love, this article is one of the best things that I’ve read in the past couple of weeks. It’s on the psychology of love and whether you can “fake it till you make it,” so to speak. The author is so good at explaining science and making it so damn relatable. It’s just perfect.
- We’re getting another round of cold, frigid, horrible weather this weekend, so maybe it’s time to have a little cold weather wear review. Yes, blankets can be fashionable coats, according to BetchesLoveThis. The final image at the bottom of the article is hilarious.
- Don’t sloths just make everything better? Including sorority rush.
Welp, I made it through another week as a single pet parent and house caretaker. I’ve only peed my pants imagining someone was breaking in to murder me about 25 times this week, including one very terrifying instance where I was woken up at 5 a.m. by the sound of XFE’s shower mirror falling in his shower. There were some tense minutes while I crept around the house, wielding a high heel as a weapon, until I finally pinpointed the source of the clatter.
Needless to say, my nerves are a bit thin. Every the dutiful boyfriend, even from thousands of miles away, XFE has bought me a nice, long massage tomorrow. And I’m very much looking forward to that.
While it wasn’t a good week for rest, it was a good week for random stories on the Internet. Enjoy!
- Since I dug around and learned about my heritage, it only seemed fitting that I would do the same for Princess Petunia. Turns out that she’s Russian royalty, of course. We’ll be commissioning one of these cat portraits to hang in the Hermitage any day now.
- XFE was in Japan for work last week, and well, I love bunnies, so a story about a Japanese island that used to be testing grounds for chemical warfare and has now been left to be overrun by the former lab bunnies suits my weird sense of humor.
- First Subway footlongs are not actually a foot long and now this? Oh, I smell a future class action lawsuit, by the way, which I will join and from which I expect to be paid in mounds of insufficiently stuffed Oreos. I’ll make it a work. I’m a survivor.
- According to people who were there, members of this Peruvian “uncontacted” tribe asked for bananas, rope and a machete (ummm, quick tip: don’t give the strange angry people machetes). I think they were asking for Double Stuffed Oreos. They obviously got worked up and hostile because they couldn’t make themselves understood.
- Travel is so exhausting. This kid has the right idea.
- Dolly Parton is my spiritual guru. I decided this while walking quite tipsily in the middle of the day in London in 1997. Me, and my older and way cooler British friend decided right then and there that Dolly was an absolute genius and we bonded over our love for her. Suddenly, the American Revolution seemed ridiculous and the key to British-American relations swas so clear: Dolly. Parton. This video sums up that day pretty damn perfectly.
- Being blunt is a blessing and a curse. On the one hand, insults just bounce off of you (slide 1) and you’re the life of the party because of your honesty and big mouth (slide 14). On the other, people are just so damn sensitive (slide 2 and 7). Here’s hoping you think I’m an ironic genius anyway (slide 20).