SOLD

So, we bought a house. A townhouse here in Old Town, Alexandria, to be more precise. Wait, did I mention that here? I’m not sure if I did or not. It all happened quite fast and now seems beyond surreal. Ah yes, I see that I did mention it. But it bears repeating again. It seems like it’s kind of a big deal.

sold sign
Upside down sign? That seems about right.

It was pretty much all we could talk about on our recent vacation, and my house-purchasing-boyfriend XFE was (quite subtly, to be sure) tied to his iPhone as he dealt with mortgage brokers, settlement companies, realtors, contractors, plumbers, banks, and assorted other leeches who are along for the ride whenever one buys a house. Seriously, is there anyone that didn’t make some money off this deal? I think the title company even slipped in a clause stating that XFE owed money to somebody’s nephew.

keys
Apparently, keys to a house you own (on the bottom) are larger than rental keys (top).

But, the house buying part is (mostly) done and now we’re on to the fun part – changing everything about the newly renovated property we JUST bought! Not really. But there are just a few things we want done. For example, all the floors need to be stained and finished (we’re leaning towards a dark walnut or a stain called “Jacobean.” For crying out loud.)

living room

We’ve got some plans for the island type thing in the kitchen (you can’t put stools under it. Where am I supposed to sit and flip through my magazines while XFE cooks?).

kitchen

We also need something in both bathrooms to keep the water from splashing all over when we take a shower. Seems our very thoughtful developer/flipper did not include shower rods or glass enclosures. Guess he was going for a more “open” look.

glittery sink
I may not have a shower curtain but I do have a glittery glass sink. And a skylight that shines down onto it.

And, of course, there’s the subject of the closets. The current closet configuration might work for normal people, but we’ve both got a lot of clothes. And one of us is super anal about her clothes and how they are organized. I get very angsty if I don’t have a place for every last sweater or pencil skirt. So there is a weekend of assembling custom-ordered closets in our future.

closets
These floors have all been replaced with wide plank pine and will be stained and finished before moving day. The closets also need some customization.

All of this needs to occur in the next two weeks. Grab your measuring tape….it’s going to be a bumpy ride.

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Monday Quick Hit

I promise I’ll have a much longer post tomorrow, but I did want to put something funny up today.

This is an email I received from my house-subsidizing-partner-for-30-fixed-years XFE on Friday before the home inspection. It documents an exchange he had with the home insurance company:

Just asked if we had pets, “Yes?”

Is it vicious?  “Depends” She might lay on you…..

By the way no additional charges for kangaroos or wallaby’s.

I asked.

Love you – have a great day

I also feel compelled to write this note in light of some activities that occurred later that night:

Dear Area Pet Kennels/Doggie Day Care providers: I sincerely apologize for the Friday night hijinks. Please know that the call asking about your abilities to accommodate/host a wallaby or kangaroo was a “serious” request from one person in our household. However, the other party involved is firmly against having a kangaroo as a pet, a fact that is well documented elsewhere on this blog. So, we’re at a bit of an impasse, and I wouldn’t go building a kangaroo enclosure just yet.

I hope that the call and request brightened up your Friday evening.  We have a very low fun threshold in our house. That’s my only excuse. Thanks for the laughs, Poe and XFE (and Petunia too).

PS: To manager Brooke (name of facility withheld): XFE is very much awaiting further contact from you on this issue.

Thankfully, I Don’t Have to Live in a Shoe

We bought a house this past weekend. Well, one of us did. The partner in this relationship who earns twice as much as the other party. And has been saving his money since the day he started working.  And works very hard in a very stressful job and gets very nice bonuses.

Meanwhile, I have a very nice shoe collection (including several expensive pairs purchased by the ever-generous and more prosperous partner I spoke of in the first paragraph).

shoe house

To be fair, we frequently run into this issue – the issue of our huge income disparity. One of us is the 99% and the other is not. I kid, but we are definitely not equal partners, which used to frustrate me to no end.

Once upon a time, I used to insist that we only purchase items or go on vacations that I could afford. That lasted for a fairly short time. My luxury prince/boyfriend XFE and I both agreed that staying in hostels and riding on buses with livestock was not something we wanted to explore (or, in my case, revisit).

The same issue came up as well when purchasing a house. We’re not equal partners. There’s simply no way we could have gone halfsies. And I don’t expect a free ride on XFE’s smart financial prowess and discipline. I’m very proud of him for being able to do it on his own.

Teresa says
Remember on the first season when Teresa said living in a pre-owned house was gross and that’s why she had to have a new construction? I totally agree, Teresa.

But for those who are worried about me (and judging by Facebook, there are a few), there will be some sort of legal-y, document-y type thing outlining my (non)substantial contributions to this latest life-project.

I’ll probably do a future blog post on how to buy a house while continuing to live in sin.

At the end of the day, XFE bought us a lovely house.

By the way, we bought our lovely house in a week. That’s seven days from the time that we first met our wonderful, amazing realtor, and the time that XFE had an offer accepted. That’s slightly shorter than the typical Kardashian courtship.

Kim K multitasker
Hold on: I’m buying a house I just saw on the way to this appointment. And breaking up with someone.

If I didn’t know us, I would think we must not have been a very picky couple to have chosen a place so quickly. The house we settled on was the fourth of a total 10 houses we looked at.

But I do know us. We have very particular tastes (needs to have that Old Town character, but also needs to be completely renovated and under $1 million, please. And be decorated by Jeff Lewis).

Jeff Lewis warning
Listen, Poe. I’m not telling you again. You cannot afford me. Now quit following me.

So when we found something that ticked off almost everything on our list, we jumped on it. Plus, my bathroom has a sparkly crushed glass sink surround and a skylight. Which wasn’t even on my list, but should have been. I don’t know how I’ve lived without a skylight for so long. It’s shameful.

Our friends are a bit….er, overly excited for us. We’ve already had two friends/coworkers say that they’ve creeped by the new place and looked in the large front window. One was XFE’s co-worker who’s child is enrolled at the Catholic school/day care across the street. The other person is my friend and current neighbor Katie, who’s on maternity leave right now and obviously in need of something to do.

Maybe I’ll put her on a certain project called “find us some non-creeper window treatments.” (Just kidding, Katie.)

Real estate
This is our new house. Only, much, much larger.