How’s It Made? Dirty, That’s How.

The dirtiest show on cable, hands down, is Science Channel’s How It’s Made.

I know it sounds crazy but hear me out.

This show is actually a favorite of XFEs. He loves it, and watches it quite often. I, too, enjoy it. Listen to the simple description from the Science Channel website:

“Have you ever wondered how things are made? Find out how the everyday objects people use become the things they are.”

It’s a documentary series produced in Quebec. So it’s a bunch of weird product names you’ve never heard of before.

The whole show is also pretty low budget. Each 30 minute episode features three everyday products, such as skis, apple juice, car radiators, etc.

Simple, straightforward, to the point.

How It’s Made is straight up, SnoopDogg filthy.

One time XFE was watching it while I was in the kitchen doing something (ok, let’s pretend I was cooking. Highly unlikely, since XFE does most –not all, but most—of the cooking around here, but let’s just pretend.) My point is, I couldn’t SEE the show, but I could still hear it. And Holy Blushing Cheeks, it is duuurrty.

First, there’s a voiceover narrator (male), who you never see, you just hear.  Second, the show is purely focused on manufacturing, you never see the faces of the workers doing the work, just their hands moving the item through the production process.  Third, there’s a musical soundtrack and I swear, every single piece of music sounds like it’s supposed to be a porn.

But it’s the writing that really is straight-up, bodice-ripper romance novel prose.

I have examples:

“The part is cooled with a mixture of water and oil. Now they can proceed with the visual inspection. The machining of the shaft is almost completed. Now they have to verify the dimensions of the part. Here are those parts stripped clean. They can detect cracks under ultraviolet light.”

What do you think they’re talking about? Airplane landing gear!

Check out this one:

“Another process is reaction injection molding. The polyeurathane inflates. Then it hardens. After 8 minutes it’s hardened enough to come out of the mold.”

That would be cross country skis.

Still not convinced? What about this:

“The product is formed into a cylindrical wad. Workers knead the dough into a rounder, harder ball. They can tell when it’s ready just by feeling it. Even though it’s stretched, it doesn’t tear. This is due partly to the protein content and partly to the skill of the worker.”

That would be: PHYLLO DOUGH!!!

Alright. Maybe I just have a dirty mind, but when you just hear it, with the music and narration and everything, it seems dirty.

Has anyone seen this show? Have you never thought, “dang, they sure do talk a lot about drilling holes and inserting shafts and whatnot ?”