Good Thing I’m a Supremely Confident Person

When one starts a blog, one knows that putting oneself out there is a risk. Am I as funny as I think I am? Am I bringing a unique voice to the debate? Will they like me out there on the Internets?

Then, about a minute into it, one decides that one does not really care what the rest of the world thinks.

One of my favorite blogs (Young House Love) had a post the other day called “Dealing With Criticism.” It was pretty interesting and helpful, particularly, if like those two, you have millions of eyes and hundreds of comments on your blog.

ThePoeLog is a slightly more modest proposition, but I went ahead and dug into the spam folder to see what I could find.

One of the great things about WordPress is their comment filter – all comments have to be approved before they are published. And a lot of really entertaining comments get caught in the drain-hair-catcher-net-thingy like the disgusting detritus they are.

"I've been reading your blog for a little while now, and I'm fairly sure I could do it better. If I wanted to."

And, well, while Young House Love had a lot of great advice about doing your own thing and ignoring the critics. But honestly, I find the foul comments HILARIOUS and worthy of sharing and laughing at.

For example, this recent comment caught my eye:

The next time I read a blog, I hope that it doesnt disappoint me as much as this one. I mean, I know it was my choice to read, but I actually thought youd have something interesting to say. All I hear is a bunch of whining about something that you could fix if you werent too busy looking for attention.

Wow. I’m now responsible for this person’s enjoyment of all future blogs. That is a huge responsibility! I’d like to say I plan to take this responsibility seriously, but…..I probably won’t.

As far as looking for attention? Guilty, as charged. I love attention. That’s why I have a blog. I like to brag to the world at large on how freaking awesome my life is.  Not really sure how that is considered a “bunch of whining about something that you could fix.” I’m not looking to fix my awesome life.

By the way, this comment was left on Jumping on the Latest Hollywood Trend, a satirical look at the Hollywood trend of adopting. No whining there as far as I can tell. Someone needs a little help with their cognitive reading skills.

Oh, and the comment was left by someone signed in as “hairstyles for thinning hair.”

Well, I guess we know who I won’t be ordering hair products from. Actually, I have gorgeous hair, a lot like this little girl here.

Fun fact: This girl – the naturally curly redhead girl with the crush on Charlie Brown – has a name: Frieda. AND she was first introduced in the Peanuts strip on my birthday, March 6!!! Other similarities: she’s vain (she won’t wear a cap because it would cover up her naturally curly hair),  she’s a chatterbox (according to Linus) and she has a cat named Faron.


OK, so here’s another good one, this time, “Sgt. Grit” was responding to my post Knights of Mayhem: More Like Nights of Boredom.

You are an asshole. Watch the entire show if you are going to comment on it. I would like to say more with regard to your poorly written article, but I refuse to waste my time and energy on a low life piece of garbage. I hope you and your off spring contract a horrible disease and die and long, slow painful and lonely death.

HA! The venom! First, Sgt. Grit, if that is indeed your name, I did watch an entire episode, even though it pained me to do so. Honestly, I should have gotten a Nobel Peace Prize for that effort.

Second, a blog post is hardly “an article.” Even I know the difference.

Third, I have no offspring, nor do I plan to have any, so your evil curse is falling on barren ground. Sorry. Wasted breathe.

That’s it. The only two negative comments from the last six months. I found them very constructive and enlightening and I fully intend to change my wicked ways – JUST KIDDING.

It’s my blog….I’ll write about whatever the hell I want, whenever I want. Believe me, I can take it just as hard as I dish it. I’ve never been one to lose sleep over what other people think. I only lose sleep over planning the packing list for my next super awesome trip, or sharing the bed with my oversized cat.

"I'm also unimpressed by you. And your kitty kibble response time is atrocious."

100th Post – Can You Feel the Spam?

Well kids, we’ve arrived at the 100th post on thePoeLog. Isn’t that crazy?! 100 laugh-filled posts on reality tv, food, running, and traveling.

That’s more posts than Lindsay Lohan sober days! That’s more posts than Kim Kardashian’s total marriage (although, to be fair, I have not posted every single day and Kim did stay married to her bo-hunk each of those 72 days).


Perhaps I should instead find a way to work Kate Moss into my analogy. According to my WordPress statistics, she is the most common search term bringing viewers to my blog (138 views), followed by Occupy Paris (88 views), and that educator on how to love, Lil Wayne (78 views).

My top viewed posts of all time (besides the home page) was the Missing Out on the Missoni Madness post (viewed 324 times) and again, my post on Lil Wayne, bringing up the number two spot at 174 views. Hmmm, maybe I am falling in love with Lil Wayne just a tiny bit.

Speaking of love, much as I love y’all’s comments on my stories, there is a great untold backlog of comments that never make it onto the blog. No, some mysterious (and smart) system name Askimet stops these comments from ever seeing the light of day.  But I see them, gentle reader. I see them.

So I want to dedicate my 100th post to these brave souls, these people who work so hard to leave totally random comments on stories that have nothing to do with what they’re selling. I salute you, spammers of the world.


 “I haven’t checked in here for some time as I thought it was getting boring, but the last handful of posts are really great quality so I guess I will add you back to my daily bloglist. You deserve it my friend. I have bookmarked your page: and will check back often. Thanks for the good information!”

This most recent comment starts off a bit insulting, but then picks up on the kiss-ass angle that all good spam comments employ. Thank goodness I got added back on to this spammer’s daily bloglist. I mean, the URL is from University of Iowa health news and I would not want to be dropped by those guys. Devestating.

Here’s another one from the very clearly titled website: How to Get Taller Fast.

I can’t believe I “forgot” to read your blog since I identified it 3 months earlier. Too busy with perform I guess. Anyways I have it bookmarked now to be positive that I get notified as soon as you put some new content up.

I can’t believe you “forgot” to read my blog either, HtGTF. I mean, there’s so much stuff on there about tall-stuff. I also “forgot” to read your site. And by “forgot,” I mean I didn’t know you exist. Good luck with that perform, by the way.

Freecouponcode wants me to know:

It is little doubt that this is the best singer in the planeta! What makes a singer isn’t their looks, it’s their voice! I don’t like when people judge singers on things that just aren’t that vital. Remember, they are entertainers, not congressmen! Let them do their thing and enjoy the music!

What’s especially puzzling about this is that this comment was left in response to my post on breakfast tacos. I’m not sure if there’s a singer known as Breakfast Taco, but if there is, I agree, his looks should not be so important. And I’m glad Breakfast Taco is not a congressman. Although, I’m sure he’s just as qualified as the current crop.

This one from is very direct. No buttering me up about how awesome my writing is or anything.

The Zune concentrates on being a Portable Media Player. Not a web browser. Not a game machine. Maybe in the future it’ll do even better in those areas, but for now it’s a fantastic way to organize and listen to your music and videos, and is without peer in that regard. The iPod’s strengths are its web browsing and apps. If those sound more compelling, perhaps it is your best choice.

Perhaps Zune is my best choice. Perhaps. It. Is. I’m convinced. I’m chucking this old iPod out the window right this very minute. (This comment, by the way, was in response to my review of the Run for the Water 5k. Totally pertinent.)

Just one more great way to save lots of income upon auto tires is always to employ payless coupon codes. Coupons are a great way in order to maintain bucks high are a variety of discount codes easily available on the market.

Oh my! How did you know that I wanted to save “lots of income upon auto tires!” Losing income upon auto tires keeps me up at night! And I couldn’t agree more that “coupons are a great way in order to maintain bucks.” Thanks so much LetFleury of Your way with words is quite fetching.

It’s seems to be getting harder and harder to find good reading material online. Your article has renewed my faith in today’s writers. Thank you

No, Samsung 1080p hdtv, thank you. I will try to keep up the high caliber of writing that compelled you to comment to my post on my wisdom teeth removal.