Friday Links: Cold Weather and Blue Skin Edition

sheryll princess

The spelling of my first name is pretty unique. I’ve never in my 41 years ever come across anybody else who spelled it the same way. It was actually really annoying when I was a kid and could never find anything personalized at those end-of-the-aisle displays at the truck stop.

But a coworker was at a birthday party in New York last weekend, and she saw a yacht with the same unusual spelling (she supplied the picture above). Sure enough: they have a whole website where you can rent a Sheryll Princess party boat! Having a personalized yacht is way better than some janky ol’ keychain with your name on it.

While I go and scheme on ways to repo my yacht (do you think I can just show them my license and make the case that the boat is indeed registered to my [first] name?), check out these links.

  • As a child of the 1980s, this is beyond awesome. Rufus Starlight. “We Are Brothers.” There just aren’t enough synthesizers and silver unitards at weddings these days. You really need to hang in there till the 4:55 minute mark.
  • Speaking of music videos, one of my Facebook friends dug up this ode (?) to Stonehenge from our favorite Norwegian variety show brothers. I love how they rhyme “so high” with “technolog—iiii” Also, the 1.50 minute mark? What the what?? Oh wait….Stonehenge rising. OK, I get it.
  • Dang. I only know fat, slutty, tatooed, single mom, Halle Berry look-a-likes. Guess I won’t get that finder’s fee from Sleepless in Austin, a wedding photographer/musician looking for a girlfriend. Good luck with that, jerk.
  • Greatest headline ever: Why do people want to eat babies? Also: I must be missing those reward censors they talk about. To me, babies smell like old milk (and sometimes poop), so, no, I do not have impulses to do anything with babies, let alone bite them.
  • This, quite predictably, cracked me up for the entire week, particularly the food bowl emergency. But I’ve also had a cat supervise me while I’m on my hands and knees in my work clothes retrieving cat toys from under sofas. We even have a stretched out wire hanger that we keep on hand for that task. The things we do…..
  • This news is over a month old, but I’m still angry about it. And fearful. Better figure out this whole layering business real fast. Because this winter is going to be cold, wet and white, according to the Farmer’s Almanac.
  • And yes, I still believe in the forecasting accuracy of Farmer’s Almanac. It’s far more reliable than listening to the forecasts from these two dueling weathermen. They got into a parking lot brawl over whether or not it was going to rain last weekend. OR DID THEY??
  • One more thing to freak out about: There are people out there with blue skin. Blue. Skin. Not just one person. More than one. Multiple people.  And not makeup. Like, real blue skin. It gives me the heebies even  thinking about it. I just know I would not stop staring.
blues
None of these guys are who I’m talking about. But man, there are a lot of blue people out there.
abc blue man
I’m talking about this guy. Yikes. Scary. And sad.

 

 

Advertisements

Hotel Crashing: Sheraton Mirage Port Douglas

Last week, I talked about my favorite place that we stayed at in Australia. Today, I’m talking about my least favorite place. Actually, that’s a bit harsh. I didn’t dislike the Sheraton Mirage Port Douglas, but it definitely was not my vibe.

So let’s take a trip in the way-back time machine to our vacation to Australia, specifically, our time up north in Queensland, which is the equivalent of Australia’s Caribbean, very tropical, lots of sun, lots of rain.

Sheraton Mirage, Australia

The Sheraton Mirage is very much in the vein of Caribbean resorts. It totally reminded me of all-inclusives we’ve stayed at in Dominican Republic and Mexico – huge, multi-building properties set on lush, gorgeous grounds, acres of lagoon-like pools, with private access to pristine beaches.

Room 2115 at the Sheraton Mirage, Australia

However, staying at the Sheraton Mirage is like travelling back in time, to the 1980s, specifically. To a time where white wicker furniture was accented with peach and turquoise cushions featuring a tropical, palm pattern.

Beach access at the Sheraton Mirage, Australia

The place was massive. The lobby, which I think had recently been updated, was the size of an airport terminal. Huge. Like, we’re talking an echo huge. And it was never very busy, so I don’t know why it needed to be so large.

Room at the Sheraton Mirage, Australia
Welcome to the Jungle.

The desk staff when we arrived was very nice and courteous. No check in drama. (And I will say, the management responds to every comment onTripAdvisor, which is very impressive.)

Room at the Sheraton Mirage, Australia

We made our way to our upgraded room, which was miles from the front desk.

Room at the Sheraton Mirage, Australia

The room was ginormous. It had a patio and large windows with plantation shutters overlooking part of the lagoons. The 1980s design aesthetic was in full force. There was even a control panel by the bed that was fabulously 80s.

Time traveling at the Sheraton Mirage, Australia

But the bathroom! Oh the bathroom. It was a marble temple dedicated to the God of 80s Excess. Gordon Gecko would have been quite comfortable in there.

Time traveling at the Sheraton Mirage, Australia

We only stayed there for two nights and we really didn’t make use of the facilities. We were out early in the morning and back fairly late in the evening. We had our own car so we didn’t have to rely on the shuttle to go into downtown Port Douglas, so I can’t speak to how that works. We also didn’t really eat there (I think we had room service one night, but I don’t really remember it), but we did notice that the menu prices seemed really, really high.

Time traveling at the Sheraton Mirage, Australia
Yep, that’s a boom box.

It’s a nice resort, I suppose, if you just want to go somewhere and relax by the pool (you can’t go in the ocean most of the year because of jellyfish). We saw a lot of families and older people there, probably people who had been going there for years and years.

Mini bar at the Sheraton Mirage, Australia
The deluxe mini bar set up. Yep, those are cheese AND crackers.

Oh, and speaking of older people, we noticed that there were warning signs on everything! Signs warning you how to use the tub, signs warning you about how to use the shutters, signs warning you about the weight of the doors. And, of course, a warning about ants. It was crazy.

Warnings at the Sheraton Mirage, Australia

be careful!
More jacuzzi tub warnings. Shit must be dangerous.

Warnings at the Sheraton Mirage, Australia

It’s an interesting place. They’re definitely trying hard, but it’s just really old and dated.

80s excess at the Sheraton Mirage, Australia
Yep, those are fish. The carpet has a fish design.
80s excess at the Sheraton Mirage, Australia
A close up. Yep, still fish.